In Britain we tend to shy away from conflict in the work place as we think it will lead to uncomfortable displays of emotion. But it doesn't have to. Knowing how to stand up for yourself and assert your opinions calmly and professionally is a much sought after skill as it ultimately earns you respect and gets you where you want to be.

Most people fear conflict and see it as something to avoid. In fact, conflict is a normal and natural part of our lives, both professionally and personally. Conflict in the right setting, handled in the right way, invariably is beneficial. It is through conflict that an awareness of the need for some necessary changes can be made.

Approaching conflicts as opportunities to improve policies and operations rather as ailments to be eradicated or ignored will result in a more productive work force and greater efficiency. Progress is more likely when individuals feel comfortable to challenge the mantra, This is how things have always been done around here. Fear is the key that locks all doors - especially creativity.

Unresolved conflict can result in feelings of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, hopelessness, depression, and other emotions. Unresolved or unmanaged conflict can quickly escalate and halt an organization's progress as people spend time worrying more about conflict than organizational goals.

Causes
Conflict arises from two areas:

1. Substantive - a difference in perceptions, goals, or values where people care about what they are doing and others don't. Organizational factors such as leadership, misunderstanding brought about by poor communication, differing interests, unclear roles, the scramble for scarce resources, long working hours, sustained and stressful deadlines.

2. Personality - where individuals just do not get on, cannot see eye to eye and seek to capitalise on their differences. In the final analysis if two people cannot agree to work together they may both have to leave. Delivering this sanction will often have the desired effect in as much both individuals agree that keeping their jobs is more important than continuing to engage in conflict.

Practical tips
There are a number of actions a manger or owner can take to create an environment where conflict is constructive and not a destructive process.

• Be a role model - the fish rots from the head first - create a climate where individuals are valued, appreciated and recognised. This includes good old fashioned civility, ‘please' and ‘thank you' as well as the more extended versions of praise and constructive criticism. The cost is minimal but the rewards are great.
• Encourage inter dependence, team work and open communication. Show by example that you really listen and understand other's points of view, needs, and priorities. Teach your staff to do the same.
• Communicate openly so everyone understands what you want to achieve and your expectations, including what's expected from each of your staff. Be clear about their job roles, boundaries and limits of discretion.
• Learn and coach your staff conflict-resolution skills, and expect people to use them. Have a process for resolving conflicts - get agreement on what people should do in cases of differing views and needs. Work in the spirit of win:win.
• Create a culture where it is ok to give open and honest views rather than what is politically correct or "career limiting" - otherwise you loose out on others' ideas.
• Create consistent performance review procedures that apply to everyone equally. Don't have favorites or show favoritism it is a source of division.
• Encourage work life balance - driving a car at full throttle will eventually cause burn out.

And for the rest of us:

• Don't take it personally - Talk it out and don't sulk and find underhand ways to get your own back - Start by assuming the person did not have intention to cause problems or hurt - give the benefit of the doubt.
• Don't speak about people behind their back, defend those who are not present - forgive - don't hold grudges.
• Take things on when they are small before the mole hills become mountains and fester
• Be clear and concise - say what you want clearly and specifically - a lot of conflict and confusion arises from miscommunication.
• Be aware of your body language - how we feel ‘leaks out' unconsciously.

For more information please visit www.entitledtorespect.com [1]